Readings:
Acts 9.36-43; Psalm 23; Revelation 7.9-11; John 10.22-30
May I speak in the name of God, always Creating, Redeeming, and Sustaining.
When I was pregnant with Isaac I struggled with depression. After months of going through certain tests making sure I was healthy, having boosters for some reduced immunity, and the joy of learning I was pregnant, by the time I was 10 weeks I was already feeling nothing for the child within me. Nothing either way: I didn’t wish the pregnancy away, but neither had I any hope or joy in contemplating the life that was to come. It took another 10 weeks to be diagnosed and at that point I got the support that I needed. But I also felt a bit of shame around it and kept it secret from most people.
But I wonder what it might have looked like if I had then an understanding of Psalm 23 that I do today. If that would have allowed me to know that God walks with me in the dark valley? Or if God prepares a meal for me and lays it out in front of the depression? Showing that adversary how loved and nurtured I truly am.
This Mother’s Day I notice a connection with the roles of shepherd and the traditional roles of mothering. I walk down this road with great care: not all mothers are nurturing (they/we are all human); some mothers have left their children with many scars; and not all people who mother are biologically mothers, nor female for that matter. Apart from the physical parts of pregnancy and breastfeeding, the traditional roles associated with mothering can be fulfilled by all family members.
All of that being said, we spend a lot of time thinking about God as father, today we are going to think about God as mother and imbue that role with some divinity.
Jesus says in the gospel that his sheep know his voice. And what child does not know the voice of their mother. We in Australia don’t have shepherds, we have sheep farmers. But I wanted to show you a video of someone calling their sheep and what it looks like for sheep to know the voice of their shepherd.
I love the second recording there because you can see the trust in the sheep. They know her, she’s calling them, but there’s that puddle in the way and they’ve all gathered right to the edge, almost saying, “we love you, we trust you…” and then they finally get over the puddle. O that we would all respond to God’s call like that!
I love that idea of trust, and that’s what comes through in Psalm 23. Trust.
“I shall not want.” That’s not about what we desires, that’s about having our needs met. I shall not want because God leads me beside still waters. And to pasture, the green beautifully nourishing grass. And in those things, God restores our souls.
If you think about a child that is in distress… I was a breastfeeding mother. I fed my son until he was 18 months old, and my daughter until she was 12 months old… and I’ll tell you what, it is the easiest calming mechanism there is! If they are upset, give them a feed and they are instantly calmed.
I want to read to you from the bible a beautiful verse from Isaiah 66.10-13 and think about the restoring of souls.
“Rejoice with Jerusalem and be glad for her, all you who love her; rejoice with her in joy, all you who mourn over here – that you may nurse and be satisfied from her consoling breast; that you may drink deeply with delight from her glorious bosom.
For thus says the Lord: I will extend prosperity to her like a river, and the wealth of the nations like an overflowing stream; and you shall nurse and be carried on her arm, and dandled on her knees. As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you; you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.”
Isn’t that beautiful?
“You shall nurse and be carried on her arm, and dandled on her knees.”
“You may drink deeply with delight from her glorious bosom.”
These are beautiful images of motherhood, mothering and nurturing, and they restore our soul. That closeness to God.
The psalmist goes on to talk about God leading in the right paths. That role of teaching that mothers have. The psalmist says, ‘Your rod and staff comfort me.’ A rod is a tool that is used to defend sheep from predators and a staff is to guide them on the way. There is not the sense of “spare the rod and spoil the child,” it’s not that kind of disciplinary rod. It is a rod that protects from danger. What mother does not do that?
And I think about when a child knows that their mother is there, that they will not allow harm to come to them; that child has no fear! They have no fear.
In verse five we shift from shepherd and sheep imagery to person to person and the psalmist says, ‘You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.’ God becomes a host and not just any host, a very brave host that spreads the table before their enemies. I think many mothers have spread tables before their children’s enemies, or frenemies, as the case may be. Mum’s are brave in those ways.
‘You anoint my head with oil,’ and mothers shower their children in all the things that make them smell beautiful and keep them clean and brush their hair. That deep sense of caring, and their cups overflow.
And then the psalmist says, ‘your goodness and loving kindness pursue me.’ That word that we always hear as ‘follow’ is actually, ‘pursue.’ So, I can follow my child… or I can pursue them! “Come here!!!” You see the difference? Pursuing is active! And in the context of this psalm, we’re looking at enemies. God has spread a table before enemies, and what do enemies do? They pursue! But now the psalmist is not pursued by enemies but pursued by God’s goodness and loving kindness.
I wonder how often we think about God as pursing us with goodness and loving kindness. Do we squeal with delight as our children do when we pursue them?
What happened after I gave birth to Isaac, is nothing short of a miracle. In an instant I went from walking in the dark valley to lying down in green pasture. God’s surrender to us, the giving of all that God is in motherly love, overtook me and Isaac did not want. And nor did I.
In his first year, we lived in a glorious bubble, and it continues to this day to be the most joyful year of my life. I was surrendered to my child in the best sense of that word.
With God by my side, Isaac’s cup overflowed, he was never without a table before him, his head was anointed with so many kisses, he never feared that I would not be there for him.
In mothering Isaac my eyes were opened to God’s love and presence in my life.
Mothering is costly. Sometimes imbued with grief. It is frequently fraught with concern for our children’s safety and wellbeing, but also with our own ability to meet the needs and challenges presented to us.
Mothering is also a gift. Not only to our families, but to ourselves. A gift by which we can know more fully the love and care that God our Mother has for us.
Amen.
